


tears were not enough

by calcirich



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:48:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27737155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calcirich/pseuds/calcirich
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	tears were not enough

`Hirugami,`

`Maybe you are wondering why I am calling you like this. Wondering how come I didn’t visit you on your birthday two days ago and when you got sick last week. I was going to wait next year, but the situation I am in right now and for the past few years won’t let me. I understand the sulking, Hiru-kun. I just couldn’t bring this up a 2 years ago because you got married. And I was your best man, I don’t want to ruin your best day with the love of your life. Seeing you happy makes me happy too, Hiru-kun. That’s why I took all my feelings with me so that you will be able to enjoy the life you have always wanted. The feelings I’ve been keeping all these months became a condition I didn’t see coming. Last year, I’ve been diagnosed with a disease called Hanahaki. The doctor said that if this disease won’t be removed, it can suffocate me. Your family knew about this already but I told them not to tell you about my illness. And that you can’t heal me with friendship, you can only heal me through genuine feelings. We both know you can’t do that because you are already married. And I know you, you are so stubborn when it comes to me. You always find your way out for me. But I won’t let you this time, Hiru-kun.`

`I will endure the pain even if it will worsen the situation I am in. I stopped going to the hospital a few months ago because I don’t want to be operated. The doctors stopped reaching out when I made my decision. I also stopped reaching out, Hiru-kun. I isolated myself while I was doing our favorite things to do. I did it all by myself. Watching our favorite tv shows over and over again. Planting your favorite flower, the roses in my garden looks so beautiful and so in my lungs. They’ve been growing quite some time now. I’ve been coughing rose petals, Hiru-kun but they are your favorite flowers so I couldn’t hate them. I’m grateful that I met you, I’m grateful for having these feelings for you even if it hurts so bad.`

`I just want to let you know that I will always bloom for you, Hiru-kun.`

`-Kourai`

`Hirugami opened the door, the tv was on and it was their favorite tv show. There were hundreds and thousands of rose petals scattered on the floor. As if it was a surprise for Hirugami, for his best friend. But the context of the surprise wasn’t about being in sorrow. It was about being happy, that even though he was in pain. He was happy with all those years he spent with his life falling in love with his best friend. That it was never wrong to love him with all his heart.`

`Kourai knows that he also takes the risk, by not taking the operation. By not letting Hirugami know about his situation. That risk ended up hurting everyone who truly loves him. They didn’t make it in time. Not even his family. After their favorite tv show, the television suddenly turns black and after a few minutes, there was a video of Kourai sitting in the garden with rose petals on the back. With Hirugami’s favorite flower.`

``

`“Hiru-kun,” he smiles so brightly as if he didn’t feel any pain. “You may wonder how did I manage to put this video into the television, well, it was just Kourai things,” he chuckles, holding his chest. He closed his eyes and didn’t talk for about a minute. Hirugami chest was stinging this entire time. By the moment he received the letter, he quickly went to Kourai’s second home which was the home of his grandparents.`

`“This is the place where we used to spend our time watching our favorite tv show, planting and taking care of your favorite flowers. But I can’t escape this, Hiru-kun,” his voice suddenly changes, he was crying his heart out, still holding his chest. “I wanted this. I wanted you to be mine. I wanted to love you. I wanted to marry you and spend my whole life with you, but fate didn’t want us to end up that way,” he smiles and wipes his tears.`

`“Although this hurts,” pointing his chest. “I never regret the day I knew that I was falling in love with you, it was the love I never gave away up until this day. There were a lot of side effects being operated on and the first one was that I’ll forget you and the reason why I was fighting for this,” `

`“I don’t want to forget you and all the reasons I’ve been fighting for. Falling in love with you was not sorrow at all, it was being happy for you, and it was the best decision I’ve made even though it was killing me slowly. For all the months, I’ve been spending my time here. I’ve also been waiting for you to come by and just hug me until I can retake the agony again, but you didn’t make it in time.”  
  
“Anyway, I'd like you to listen to this song I've been practicing for about a week now. It's for you, Hiru-kun,”  
  
`

`Kourai stands up and grab the guitar that was on the ground a few moments ago.   
  
`

_`Wanna write one for you.  
`_

_`` _ _` The unwritable man, ` _

_`Who sleeps in my hand, ` _

_`` _ _`In this interstate world` _

_`Who leaves me for dead,`_

_`` _ _`In my ghost town grey  
` _

_`And returns like color t.v`_

_`` _ _`And I've tried to run` _

_`My little miles`_

_`` _ _` Stumble over my sin` _

_`` _ _` You'll never find me out` _

_`` _ _` Its been just one dream` _

_`` _ _` We're living in ` _

_`` _ _` But you're still, and you're bright and you're quiet` _

_`` _ _`In the heart of it` _

_`  
The song was still in the 1st verse when Hirugami stands up and walk up to Kourai’s room. ` _

_`And there he was, laying down peacefully as if he was in a happy place right now. Kourai chose Hirugami despite everything, and he also chose this life to be inspired by love. He slowly knelt and kisses Kourai’s forehead for the last time. He didn’t speak the entire time he was in the room, he was just admiring Kourai’s face. He didn't shed a tear for his best friend because he knows that his tears were not enough to mourn for his bestfriend.  
  
  
  
(this is my first story, i hope you like it...)`_

_`` _ _`` _


End file.
